Gone with the wind...

Finally after a long time I went to my Alma mater MMEC to take my degree and got to know about our convocation that’s next month… Thank God!! I’ll attend my Bachelor’s convocation before Master’s ..I was really afraid. After nearly 2 years, going to college with Pallavi made me remember of our B.Tech days. So lovely, innocent and magnificent were those days. It was not the place changed but the crowd. It seems after every year like transistors’ integration on a chip is being enhanced so are the styles and trends amongst students….Hence proved Moore’s law is universal..haha. But seriously, as we proceeded our final steps inside the campus and stood in front of that eagle shaped building ..i smiled and said Oh My God!! Look Pali it still has the same fragrance around. Old memories embraced my heart. I held a silent combat with my emotions somewhere deep inside. That reception area, account’s branch and academic office…woah… Gita mam, Pratap Sir, Khosla Sir stll sitting and working there. I looked at Khosla Sir and he recognized me…see I was so popular…kiddin..he called me Nimisha aao aao kaisi ho?? I grew senti hmmmmm..then we completed the formalities. Yes in the account’s branch too every body was sitting in their respective chambers. That old man still sitting amid plethora of files. When I was in 1st year I used to think he is so old (working after retirement) a true example of old age maladies….he would stop working after this semester. Oh man..he was still there and looked the same as there is no more scope for him to appear older than what he does.
Now, we stepped up and there was our library. Those white wide stairs where we had clicked numerous photographs in final sem. Those were same but the steps those stairs were bearing had changed the weight. I had passed hours with that books galore in my First sem.. I was so afraid (because of fear of ragging) of stepping outside in lunch time. Those walls with sayings hung on them and those last two racks of ECE books…..everything looked unmoved. If I could exchange time with the people around, I definitely had. Even during practices for SAT, our team of 12; 4 PG and 8 UG students, I use to feel the same. Everytime those 2nd year students used to say,” Mam just 3 months and you will be out of this hell…you are so lucky”. Huh…when I was in 2nd year and my brother in 4th year these used to be my words. But when those days are gone I realize how wrong I was.
Then we stepped up and entered 2nd floor….grew even more senti…that corridor and lecture halls 301-304.. in 4th year we had got so bored of these lecture halls but Pali and I were so happy like a small cherub had got his favorite chocolate. All the memories, pangaas and instances we recalled in every lecture hall. Oh yeah! When we were walking infront of 103..Pali stopped me and said…see you were caught here… the first and the last time I bid a proxy in final year. It was principal’s lecture of Bussiness organization and rest is history ..haha..we burst into loud laughters…I never attempted any unfair means and Abhay made me a scape goat that day…thank God I was not punished. Those two days were the longest 48 hours I have ever had.
Then I started looking for Isha, one year junior to me. She is lecturer now. Okie I got it…I entered her room..Oh my God!! That short height cutie pie is a lecturer…she was actually looking like a lecturer. We shared our days and the one hour long journey in our college bus from Kurukshetra to MMEC. Neha, Isha, Priya, Bhanu, Mohit, Siddharth…. we guys had enjoyed a lot. But I remember many times we used to curse that bumpy road..and getting up at 5:45 am and catching bus at 7am and getting back tired and broken at 6:15pm. I now feel and can smell the fragrance and beauty of those days. That was one life……now gone with the wind.
Though I have enjoyed at Thapar too and feel that that my this second life is perfectly fine and I have learnt more than my curriculum here. But the beauty of the wonder years that have gone can not be explained.
Surely after 2 months when I’ll be out of Thapar..I ‘m going to miss these 2 years badly. About these days I’ll write after joining at Wipro, Hyderabad because the intensity of nostalgia would be higher then.

Gone with the wind..
That One life is gone…
Though living the second in tone..
Still that one life is unscathed
So fresh I can breathe the memories
Memories so warming left behind…
Gone with the wind…

Sand slipped out of my hands…..
Perhaps took an advantage..
Though I tried assiduously..
Gone with the wind…
Unnoticed and untold..

I look around inertly gruffed…
Search for the sand that flinged..
Looked here and sought there…
Found no where those sand minuscules..
Gone with the wind…

My hay days…one life
I lived to hilt…
That is nowhere but inside me..
A rush of blood when heart beats..
I can feel the memories still living….

Why couldn’t I stop the time…
To capture the moments I left behind..
People and air that earth so mine…
But searching for a tangible sign…

My brain’s entreaty to live second life..
Oh I’m living and enjoying..
That one life I wish I get back again…
I wish I get a tangible sign…
Hyphenate the two lives…….

First time....

One idea struck my mind today. We are so ecstatic when first time any good thing happens in our life and equally consternated and shattered in a down (but temporary) phase of our life. This is human nature perhaps and nobody can help it. People who learn to convalesce through all the ups and downs are few but always adored and appreciated by hoi polloi.
The first experience always drives you crazy and you can not forget it all through your life. Though everyone has own measures of happiness and worry, success and failure but the magic of “first time” can never stir your heart “next time” , like it does. So in short we live hardly few days and rest of our life we strive to get a life of those few days. We asphyxiate millions of times to really breathe one moment.

The first time I opened my eyes
I saw the world….
I don’t remember… when
I don’t know how I felt..
I don’t know with whom I dealt..

The first humane touch…
Perhaps of the doctor or the nurse…
I don’t know… how
I don’t know how I felt…
I don’t know who first hugged me then…

The first time I smiled….
I smiled at what…
I don’t remember why
I don’t remember when
I don’t know who shared my first grin.

The first time I walked…
I don’t know where I floundered…
Perhaps papa or mamma held my hand
I don’t know what impelled me on that land…

The first time I sobbed…
I don’t know why…
I can’t remember when…
Perhaps it was my brother who flogged…

May be I had beaten him back….
What I remember through all these years….

Those bleak looks on the road side..
Opened my eyes..
I saw the world and the pain so real.
I remember my eyes wide open..
Yes I had learnt to see!

The warm touch buoyed my heart..
My heart had got a life
The touch that I could feel so deep within..
I had felt family support and love
Yes I had learnt to feel!

Standing in front of mirror..
I shared my first achievement….
I smiled and my reflection smiled too…
Mirror looked so true and pure not lying any more..
Yes I had learnt to smile!

One decision I made and it worked..
I saw the sun saluting me…
Even moon light confided in me and that so good..
An erect gait and noble looks finally I had..
Yes I had learnt to walk!

The blood curdling silence and the diabolical sneer….
I saw the broken heart’s tears…
The blue air blanketed me, I had hurt someone
The ugly pearls played with my eyelids..
Yes I had learnt to cry!

Life so short and the days so small…
I wish hopes spring and fulfilled too
I wish I live every day…..
To live every moment…
To learn everything…
Everything before the end…..
But not “the end” before the end.